"INFP" Themes and Relationships
By Linda V. Berens Ph.D. and Dario Nardi Ph.D.
|INFP - Harmonizer Clarifier
|Likely Social Style:
- Theme is advocacy and integrity.
lie in helping people clarify issues,
values, and identity.
- Support anything
that allows the unfolding of the person.
- Encourage growth and development
with quiet enthusiasm.
- Loyal advocates
and champions, caring deeply about
their causes and a few special people.
- Interested in contemplating life’s
mysteries, virtues, and vices in their search
- Thrive on healing conflicts,
within and between, and taking people to
the center of themselves.
Themes and Relationships
for each Personality Type
by Linda V. Berens, Ph.D.
Dario Nardi, Ph.D.**
For Harmonizer Clarifiers, life is a process of uncovering
mysteries, the mysteries of life—personal values and
meanings and the meaning of life in general. They
like learning about people, why they do what they do
and who they are. They want to relate on a deep level,
to be touched deeply and to resolve issues. Exploring
moral questions like what is right and wrong and the
battle between good and evil fascinates them. Knowing
people’s intentions helps them feel comfortable with
They enjoy getting reacquainted with themselves.
To not have a sense of congruence with their values and
unity with oneself is worse than death. They must have a
sense of integrity and wholeness.
They have a talent for facilitative listening and
knowing what is behind what is said. When they listen
deeply to another person, they help that person clarify
their identity, their wants, and their needs. They want to
help others enjoy who they are, accept themselves, and
believe in themselves. Sometimes it is hard to turn off
the deep listening, and they pay a price for presenting a
more acceptable, conventional persona to the world.
Life is full of paradoxes and they are constantly
balancing opposites. They can be fun and playful yet
serious and intense. Others rarely glimpse the whole,
rich tapestry of their lives. They often relate to others
through stories and metaphors to connect differences and
to provide gentle encouragement. Stories tap into that
wordless internal world that is the source of knowing
what is right and important.
Their thought processes tend to be relational and
integrative. “Going with the flow” helps them connect
the seemingly unconnectable, life’s many opposites.
They often start in the middle of an idea, grasping its
importance, and love to have the freedom to flow from
one thought to the next. They have a way of knowing
what is believable.
Their incredible ability to be present with another
on a deep level requires a different sense of time than
structured time. They often speak of struggling with
structure, forever trying to get their lives in order.
For Harmonizer Clarifiers, relationships are about selfdiscovery—
each person learning more about who he
or she really is. There is an idealism in the process of
relating, and everything has a symbolic significance.
They want the other person, the group members, or the
community to have a sense of purpose and ethics. They
will just know when they are getting the “real” person
in the relationship. Integrity, validation, and affirmation
are very important. They can be an enigma, with many
aspects of themselves for different relationships. Sharing
beliefs is important. They are often disappointed if the
other person or the group doesn’t share their beliefs and
will then tend to withdraw and be silent. There is a lot
of self-reflectiveness about how to “be” in a relationship,
and they may miss the moment for connecting; so much
is internal, but they want so much to connect they may
do it indirectly.
In their close relationships, they can be very subtle
and are often the most romantic. Others may miss the
significance of their symbolic gestures. When the other
person is right with them, the person is totally right, and
when the other person is not, then that person is totally
wrong. They expect the relationship to be deep and
meaningful. When it is, they are willing to commit.
This concludes "Themes and Relationships for INFP,"
A Personality Type Description.
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